{"id":435,"date":"2021-12-06T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-06T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/zaimovic.com.hr\/?p=435"},"modified":"2024-04-29T10:28:41","modified_gmt":"2024-04-29T10:28:41","slug":"kako-s-tinejdzerima","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/zaimovic.com.hr\/index.php\/2021\/12\/06\/kako-s-tinejdzerima\/","title":{"rendered":"Kako s tinejd\u017eerima – k\u0107i \u017eeli prespavati kod de\u010dka"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u017divot s adolescentom, tinejd\u017eerima, nije ni malo lagan, ali tko je rekao da \u0107e biti. Sve u svemu, ako ste do sad njegovali dobar odnos s djetetom, sad \u0107e se vidjeti pravi rezultati va\u0161eg odgoja. <\/strong>Nastavite djetetu biti podr\u0161ka, budite uz njega jer sad vas treba najvi\u0161e, iako vas najvi\u0161e odbija. Prona\u0111ite ravnote\u017eu koja odgovara va\u0161em djetetu, prona\u0111ite nove granice i slu\u0161ajte, slu\u0161ajte i slu\u0161ajte!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vidite li \u0161to se doga\u0111a u primjeru ispod?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Djevojka (16 godina), upitala je majku sla\u017eu li se ona i tata da ona prespava kod svog de\u010dka (18 godina) idu\u0107i vikend.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nemojte se zaka\u010diti na ono prvo i najo\u010ditije misle\u0107i da djevojka pita smije li voditi ljubav. Kad razgovarate s tinejd\u017eerima, ne ska\u010dite na prvu, stanite i razmislite \u0161to je zapravo u pozadini. I sami ste bili mladi, imali prve ljubavi, prve spolne odnose, intimne trenutke. Prisjetite ih se i prisjetite se svojih roditelja, \u0161to su oni \u010dinili, odnosno \u0161to nisu \u010dinili, a voljeli biste da jesu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0160to ona zapravo pita?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ona ne pita mo\u017ee li prespavati kod de\u010dka da bi vodili ljubav, to mogu \u010diniti bilo kad i bilo gdje bez da roditelji ne\u0161to o tome znaju, dakle to ne mora biti za vikend, ne mora biti po no\u0107i, a isto tako mo\u017ee re\u0107i da spava kod prijateljice, a zapravo je kod njega. Ona pita iz dva razloga<\/strong>: mo\u017eda \u017eeli voditi ljubav s de\u010dkom i \u017eeli da njezini roditelji znaju za to, a \u017eeli i znati \u0161to majka misli i osje\u0107a o tome. \u017deli pokazati majci tko je i \u017eeli znati \u0161to ona o njoj misli, to je ono \u0161to joj je najva\u017enije. Drugim rije\u010dima, ona ne treba predavanje o kontracepciji i spolno prenosivim bolestima, treba joj povratna informacija koja je jednako iskrena i osobna kao i njezin pristup. Ne ka\u017eem da razgovor i o gore navedenim stvarima nije va\u017ean, je, ali razgovor, otvoren razgovor, a ne predavanje. No, ne taj tren, ne uz to pitanje!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Majka mo\u017ee odgovoriti<\/strong>: \u201eNe znam \u0161to da ti ka\u017eem na to. Zapravo bih \u017eeljela re\u0107i NE, nikako, znam da ima\u0161 \u0161esnaest godina i meni se mo\u017ee \u010diniti da si premlada, kao da jo\u0161 uvijek ima\u0161 deset godina. Mo\u017ee\u0161 li pri\u010dekati jo\u0161 barem deset? \u0160alim se \ud83d\ude00 Ovaj tren stvarno ne znam \u0161to da ti odgovorim, rado bi porazgovarala s tvojim tatom i razmislila o tome. \u0160to ka\u017ee\u0161?\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time djevojka dobiva iskren i autenti\u010dan odgovor svoje majke, bez predavanja i moraliziranja, a isto tako pokazuje otvorenost za komunikaciju, razgovor o emocijama, spolnom odnosu, seksualnosti, odnosima s mladi\u0107ima i sve \u0161to ide uz to. A to je ono \u0161to tinejd\u017eerima najvi\u0161e treba.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Isto tako, majka je mogla ovako ne\u0161to odgovoriti<\/strong>: \u201eMislim da ne bi trebala, \u010dini mi se da je jo\u0161 prerano da prespava\u0161 kod njega. Znala sam da \u0107e\u0161 me prije ili kasnije pitati jer vidim da ti je taj de\u010dko jako drag. No, on nije de\u010dko s kojim bi te ja voljela vidjeti. Ne govorim ti da ja o tome odlu\u010dujem, mo\u017ee\u0161 se vi\u0111ati s kim \u017eeli\u0161, ali ako mene pita\u0161 i \u017eeli\u0161 moje mi\u0161ljenje, ovo je moj odgovor na to.\u201c<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ovaj odgovor je isto tako iskren, otvoren i autenti\u010dan te poziva na komunikaciju. Majka vidi i priznaje potrebe i \u017eelje svoje k\u0107eri, ne napada i ne nare\u0111uje \u0161to i kako bi njezina k\u0107er trebala, ali daje svoje mi\u0161ljenje kao roditelj.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Upotreba takve, osobne, povratne informacije, pokazuje tinejd\u017eerima da i drugi ljudi imaju svoje stavove, razmi\u0161ljanja, na\u010din na koji vide i do\u017eivljavaju svijet oko sebe te da oni nisu centar svijeta po kojem se svi ravnaju.<\/strong> Tako u\u010de po\u0161tovati svoje i tu\u0111e granice i stavove.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Jo\u0161 jedan dobar izbor je ubaciti i pitanje \u0161to ona misli o tome<\/strong>, npr. \u201eNe znam \u0161to da ti ka\u017eem, ja mislim \u2026, a kako se to tebi \u010dini? Brine li te ne\u0161to oko toga? \u017deli\u0161 li o ne\u010demu porazgovarati?\u201c<\/em> Ta pitanja mo\u017eete ubaciti uvijek i svugdje i zaista poslu\u0161ati odgovor tinejd\u017eera<\/strong>, mogli biste se iznenaditi o\u0161troumno\u0161\u0107u i iskrenim odgovorom. Kad pitaju jer \u017eele ne\u0161to napraviti mo\u017ee vam se \u010diniti kao da ih to uop\u0107e ne brine, zapravo je mogu\u0107e da im se puno toga mota glavom. O tome biste mogli otvoreno porazgovarati kad oni ve\u0107 sami nude sadr\u017eaj. Pritom je va\u017eno ne osu\u0111ivati i iskreno odgovarati <\/strong>na njihova pitanja, bez onog \u201e\u0161to bi trebao\/la re\u0107i, kako bi dobar roditelj odgovorio na to, \u0161to \u0107e drugi re\u0107i\u201c<\/em> i sli\u010dnog. Dobro je pripremiti se<\/strong> na takve razgovore, dogovoriti s partnerom neka zajedni\u010dka stajali\u0161ta kad do\u0111e vrijeme za takva pitanja.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I uvijek se prisje\u0107ajte da su to va\u0161a djeca, ali da postaju odrasli ljudi, promjena koja nikome nije laka, ni vama niti tinejd\u017eerima. Prisjetite se sebe u tim godinama, kakvi ste bili, \u0161to vam je bilo va\u017eno i za\u0161to, kakve roditelje ste u tim trenucima \u017eeljeli i mo\u017eete li vi sad biti takvi za svoje dijete.<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Iva<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

PS. Zaprati me na dru\u0161tvenim mre\u017eama:
FB stranica: Iva Zaimovi\u0107
Instagram profil: @ivazaimovic<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u017divot s adolescentom, tinejd\u017eerima, nije ni malo lagan, ali tko je rekao da \u0107e biti. Sve u svemu, ako ste do sad njegovali dobar odnos s djetetom, sad \u0107e se vidjeti pravi rezultati va\u0161eg odgoja. Nastavite djetetu biti podr\u0161ka, budite uz njega jer sad vas treba najvi\u0161e, iako vas najvi\u0161e odbija. Prona\u0111ite ravnote\u017eu koja odgovara… Read More »Kako s tinejd\u017eerima – k\u0107i \u017eeli prespavati kod de\u010dka<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":528,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"","neve_meta_content_width":0,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nKako s tinejd\u017eerima - k\u0107i \u017eeli prespavati kod de\u010dka - Iva Zaimovi\u0107<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u017divot s tinejd\u017eerima nije ni malo lagan, ali tko je rekao da \u0107e biti. 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